Here's a fact about rail maps: they lie. Ok, perhaps lie is too strong a word. Misinform is perhaps better. They often write a cheque they can't cash. They place all the stations at the same distance from their neighbour, implying that they're all a nice even gap apart. They expand city centres to fit in all the stops and make them look more important than they are. They tell you that the best way between two points is to take a train from here to there and change and then over there when actually you'd be better off walking because it's actually round the corner (I think we all know which bit of the Underground I'm referring to). And they make it look like there's a nice direct service between two stations when there's nothing of the sort.
Actually, that's not fair. There are direct services between Ashchurch for Tewkesbury and Worcestershire Parkway. Three of them, provided by CrossCountry, spaced four hours apart. Which is hopeless, considering they're right next to one another.
It meant that when I arrived at Ashchurch for Tewkesbury station I headed for the southbound platform, rather than the north; I was going to have to go to Cheltenham Spa, change trains, and then head north again. This was irritating for many reasons, chief of which being that Cheltenham Spa isn't even on the West Midlands Railway map, so it was an absolute waste of my time going there.
As you may have guessed from the name, Ashchurch for Tewkesbury isn't exactly well placed. It's a whole two and a half miles from the centre; a sign outside the station says Welcome to Historic Tewkesbury then signposts a 56 minute walk to reach the actual town.
There was, at one time, a branch line that crossed from Ashchurch through Tewkesbury and on to Great Malvern. Unsurprisingly, Dr Beeching (boo, hiss) took one look at this and closed it. The route of the railway line is a footpath, while the station was where there is now a Morrison's.
Ashchurch closed at the same time, but, as usual, everyone almost immediately realised this was a mistake. The station was reopened in 1997 with a bare bones construction; two platforms, footbridge, car park. No ticket office and a couple of glass shelters.
Its services have been slowly stripped back, too. Now there's only one train an hour in each direction, one to Worcester, one to Temple Meads, with the aforementioned three CrossCountry services threaded in between. These are the only services that get you to Birmingham.
I got on the surprisingly clunky train for the one stop journey. Up here in t'north we think we've got easily the worst trains in Britain; the ones the south chucks our way when they've finished with them. This train reminded me that there are shit trains all over the country.
I'd actually been to Cheltenham Spa once before, late in the last century. An old college friend had moved there and so a few of us went down to see her for the weekend, staying in a B&B. While we were there I bought a black shirt with a flame design which I then wore out in public; I'm not sure what the hell was going on in my head back then. I think I may have been temporarily possessed by the spirit of Guy Fieri.
The point is, I remembered it distinctly for its charming white stuccoed building, like an escapee from a Poirot. I was delighted to arrive and see it looking like this:
I continue to have the worst timing for my visits.
I went up to the road and took the station sign - may as well, while I was here.
There's a second entrance to the station, opposite a row of shops, so I walked round the block to reach it. The railway bridge was decorated with a huge mural declaring that Cheltenham thanks... those who risked their lives to keep the country running during the Covid outbreak of 2020. It was starting to look dishevelled and worn; some of the colours were fading, and there was graffiti over the top. I wonder how many of these memorials will be allowed to quietly disappear over the years, how many Thank You NHS rainbows will be painted over, as we all try to put the pandemic behind us.
I went down to the northbound platform to wait for my train. There was an extremely good looking despatcher there, plus this button, which I stared at for way too long. I really wanted to push it. I didn't. But I really wanted to.
Another reason for Ashchurch for Tewkesbury's relative failure as a station is that Worcestershire Parkway came along in 2020 and stole its thunder. This was another station built with a car park close to a motorway junction, except this one was bigger and brighter and it had interchange facilities!
This is the point where the east-west services from London and Hereford cross the north-south services to Birmingham and Cardiff; as such, it's a great spot for an interchange. Unfortunately, there is nothing around here except fields so there was no real impetus to build it. Worcestershire County Council, however, saw the potential for a new development centred around the crossover. They pushed through the construction of the station and it'll soon be the hub for what they're definitely not calling a new town, even though that's basically what it is.
The service pattern is still getting there. More trains need to pause here to make it properly worthwhile, but it's been promised those in future timetable changes. Its passenger numbers have already exceeded expectations, once again proving that if you actually build transport infrastructure, people will use it, so
crack on with it, Government.
What they've constructed here is what we can politely term
efficient. The problem is, I've been spoiled. My little wander round Stockholm has shown me what you can achieve with transport infrastructure if you actually try. Daniel Wright's
Beauty of Transport blog shows it too. There's a world where stations are recognised as important human places, as crossings and meeting spots, as fixed points in the movement of worlds.
Great railway stations call out to us and inspire us. They bring joy. There's a lot to like about Worcestershire Parkway - the dark wood ceilings, the curves, the sheer space to allow for movement between platforms. But it's a little bit boring. It doesn't make you want to cheer.
There are still signs that it's been done on the cheap. There's only one platform on the east-west line, which is asking for trouble. They've created a bottleneck. There are plans to someday introduce another platform; of course, if you'd built it all in one go, you'd have the convenience of that facility on opening day, plus you won't have to find funding and close the railway for construction at some vague point in the future. Saving a few grand today means spending a few hundred grand in ten years' time, not to mention added inconvenience.
Still, the ticket hall is reasonably grand, and includes actual ticket windows with real human beings behind them. It could do with a little shop to create a bit of animation. At the minute, there's only a coffee cart outside. There's not really anywhere to sit and wait for your train.
Let's celebrate a transport facility being designed, planned and opened in the 21st century. Let's cheer a new station. Let's hope there's more to come.
I waited in the car park for the BF to arrive in the car and drive us home. I got in and turned to say thanks - but wait! That's not the BF! That's a gelatinous cube!
Your journey is over, adventurer. Next time, be more careful who you get into cars with.
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